Dear Anna Marciniak

It seems to get more and more difficult to move my horses. They just don’t want to follow. And I was so frustrated today as you will see in this video.

What am I doing so wrong?????? πŸ™

Anna Marciniak Hello dear Petra Webstein, there is nothing wrong, there are only more opportunities to learn. If you really want to know the difference between learning and asking or demanding the movement you can come back to the BEST/WORST experience within this situation. And you can then discover that maybe what you *think* is best, is actually *worst* in the given situation – I am not saying that this is the case here, I am trying to open you to see that there may be more options possible, than what you agree for and see now. I like the kicking and showing frustration. I also see that you are not getting it right to the end out of you – it’s like you touch the emotion and it kind of makes you happy to be able to release it but also scares you a bit “what if I continue kicking more?” do not be afraid, these emotions are not you – it’s only what your mind makes you feel. You still and in every situation have this goodness in you that shines through, I see it, your horses see it, they just want you to be free from it πŸ™‚ Also, remember to ALLOW yourself to each time express the emotions differently, and as I explained in another comment do not express the emotions to achieve the effect, but to see the essence of what is blocking you. On another note, your horse after each emotional release makes movement and he takes very open steps πŸ™‚ do you see it?

Petra Webstein Hello dear Anna Marciniak you are right, I am afraid of letting it all out. A part of me is thinking that if I allow myself a little bit, it will be better but I am not going all the way through with it. I don’t even know how that would feel I guess. I can see that Apreeto all of a sudden walks but I also see that he shakes and shivers when I do this emotions out. πŸ˜₯I all of a sudden feel sad because I feel that I scared him with my break outs. I notice in him that he has become more scared and spooked of things where before we would be solid as a rock. But then again, this being solid as a rock (the same as with me) can also be a learned holding on, surviving action. Back to the drawing board again today and try again. Thank you Anna 

Anna Marciniak Hello Petra Webstein, thank you for sharing. From what I see you are afraid of seeing what these emotions do to you, when you do the BreakingFree Emotions Out technique, and you see then more clearly what they do to others when you have them. The trick now is to understand that these emotions are there – even if you are not expressing them. We can now either keep swallowing them, keeping them silent in us or pushing even deeper inside so they are less visible – but they will still be there, and they will still impact you and others, only lighter/less visibly – but to me it’s even more dangerous, this is how illnesses develop, and suddenly people feel deeply burn out out of nowhere, out of “no reason at all” – it’s because the reason instead of being taken out on the surface has been pushed down down down for so long and people managed to suppress it better and better and to mood-control themselves up to the point they stopped seeing their emotions. But the emotions still were there. Now I think the best you can do Petra is to focus how you feel after you release something , instead thinking what you have released, what was that, how you released it etc. Tune to the moments after the release in you. At the horse look again after 3-5minutes, as you will see in him immediately only your own emotion. Let him also release it, as he was feeling it too for some time already before you released it openly from yourself.

Petra Webstein Dear Anna Marciniak, yes, I can see that very clearly and I do know I have big chunks I don’t like to access. It was important to my survival as a child that I covered the emotions up completely to not risk being beaten savagely. I am glad that I now have a chance to bring them out in a “safe” space and thankful for your guidance in this, Anna.
While you were writing this comment to me, I was out there with Apreeto doing the exercise and I feel today I had a break through. I am in the process of looking at the video, I hope I captured anything because the session just started and I had to go with it without paying much attention to the camera setup. 

Anna Marciniak We have to bring them out Petra Webstein for your health. So you beautifully said “I notice them but I covered them and now I don’t like to access them” – but the thing is that they are all the time there, and even if you do not look at them, they are affecting your life, your body and your moods and behavior is. What I think is that we can gently release them one at a time, but not to look into them and analyze what they are and when they stared and what you associated with them but to simply see HOW DO YOU FEEL in this moment when they are released: better? Lighter? Like being able to move on? Let’s look into that πŸ™‚ the horse is just there to support this process and to share space with you, as anyways you go through these tensions together.Petra Webstein I am ready now πŸ¦‹